Category: Mental Wellness

5 Tips for Personal Growth

 

1. Get out of your comfort zone

Change and growth happen outside our comfort zone and we shouldn’t let fear of the unknown hold us back in life. Make a list of all the things you want to accomplish in life and start checking them off! When I made the decision to move to Seattle from Southern California I was so scared! I had always wanted to move and decided to go with it when the opportunity presented itself, but there was a lot of fear based thinking I had to overcome. You know the Nike saying ‘Just Do It’? Apply that to your life! When we start putting too much thought into the things that scare us, it’s really easy to talk yourself out of it.

2. Stop saying “ I can’t”

Along with getting outside of your comfort zone eliminate the phrase “I can’t” from your vocabulary. Why can’t you? What is holding you back? Really start focusing on what you can do and having an attitude of gratitude for the opportunities that come your way.

3. Break through self-limiting beliefs

Sometimes we don’t even realize the self-limiting beliefs we carry around and we all have them, but learning how to overcome these beliefs can really open you up to a life of opportunity and living up to your full potential. Do you want to start a business, but think to yourself you’ll never be able to do that? Do you want to get a rockin’ body, but tell yourself that will never be me? What I can tell you is what you think is what will be. Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right. Really start paying attention to these thoughts you have and start turning them into positives and I can’s.

4. Be positive

So that brings me to step 4 which is to be POSITIVE! When we live a life of negativity it is hard to see the good around us, but when we’re positive and grateful we tend to focus on all the good around us. I recommend starting a gratitude journal. This can be as simple as listing 3 things each day that you’re grateful for. Having this mindset each day will bring about more things to be grateful for!

5. Say YES

Lastly, say YES! We are presented with opportunities all the time and the more opportunities we say yes to, the more doors will open. Asked on a date, YES! Presented with a networking experience, YES! Lunch with a potential client, YES! Now, don’t get this confused with being a pushover and a people pleaser. This is about saying yes to opportunities that feel outside your comfort zone and maybe give you a little anxiety. These are opportunities for personal growth and that’s always a good thing.

Self-Compassion

As a woman, there is so much pressure to be “perfect.” To have perfect bodies, dress in the most fashionable clothes, be the best friend, best daughter, sister, wife, mom, partner, have a great job, a home that looks like it came from a Pinterest board, a cute car, and to never reveal to others any of our flaws or make any mistakes. We are in a society where we are constantly striving to do and be better than everyone else and vulnerability is perceived as weakness. Perfectionism leads to a lot of self-criticism and negative self-talk. Trying to do everything right is exhausting and not to mention impossible. What we need to strive for is self-compassion.

Self-compassion is about loving yourself for who you are without feeling the need to compete and be better than anyone else. It is about knowing yourself, flaws and all, and accepting your story. We’re all familiar with the term self-esteem which is linked to this idea of perfectionism, narcissism, self-absorption, and so on. But, self-compassion provides the same benefits of high self-esteem without all the negatives. I want to share with you the components of self-compassion.

Three components of self-compassion:

  1. Self- kindness v. self-judgment- Turn towards our self with love, kindness, and care like we would towards a best friend.
  2. Common humanity- Connecting to others with love and kindness. The idea that as humans, we are all in this together, we all suffer and we all struggle. We can’t love others more than we love ourselves. Every single person is deserving of compassion.
  3. Mindfulness- Being present, paying attention, being aware, non-judgmental. To take a balanced approach to negative emotions so that feelings are neither exaggerated nor suppressed.

To start practicing self-compassion pay attention to the messages you are telling yourself. We all have a running dialogue in our head that has an opinion about everything we are going through. Start listening to it. What does it say when you make a mistake? This is where you come in and give yourself the compassion you deserve.  Acknowledge that you are human and humans make mistakes. It is a ridiculous idea to think we would go through life without any hardship and sometimes we need to give ourselves the compassion to say we need help from others! If you are the type of person that doesn’t like talking to others about your problems, I would challenge you to open up to someone close and see how much better you feel afterwards.

I want to leave you with a quote. “Recognize your worth is great, your talents are worthy of expression, that your fulfillment is as important as anyone else’s and that your best self is the greatest gift you have to give the world.” I remember writing down this quote maybe 6 months ago and I just ran across the post it while cleaning out the desk in my office. I don’t remember where I got it from or who wrote it, but it’s a great reminder to love ourselves!

Here’s a link to a self-compassion test. I encourage you to take it and see how you score.

Self-Compassion Test

I hope you all have a great week!

Change: Getting Comfortable with The Uncomfortable

Can we stop for a moment and acknowledge how hard change is, really hard, right? Whether it’s personal, professional, within and without our control, it’s difficult. But what is it about change that makes it so difficult? For me, it’s a combination of things. It’s the unknown of what’s to come; it’s stepping out of my comfort zone and getting comfortable with the uncomfortable, it’s the fact that I now need to step out of my habitual state to form new habits and seek new experiences.

Lately, I’ve been going through a lot of change both personally and professionally and while it’s exciting at times, it’s also very scary! It’s one of those inevitable things we must go through, but ask most people and they will tell you they resist change because of the fear of the unknown! I can always tell I’m going through a transitional period when I start worrying, getting anxiety, pull away from my healthy lifestyle and exercise, and I turn inward. Knowing this about myself I’ve been able to develop ways to get through times of transition.

  1. Give yourself a couple days off from your normal schedule to process. Many of us have a to- do list a mile long running through our heads and sometimes you have to say “screw the list” and give yourself time to relax! Do something you love, have a treat meal, get a massage, take time for self-care. Self-care is so important to living a healthy and well balanced life.
  2. Meditate! I don’t set a specific time or limit myself to a single mantra, but I do sit in silence for the amount of time I feel I need and I think about life and what I want for myself. If I want to gain more clients I focus on ALREADY having the clients, the key is to focus on what you want as if you already have it. If I want my body to look great in a bikini then I focus on being in that bikini with my rockin’ bod! Eventually you will have what you want! Send out those positive vibes!
  3. Write in your journal. When I put pen to paper and write down my thoughts and feelings there are usually things that come up that I didn’t know were bothering me. I gain clarity on what I’m going through and I feel SO much better getting it all out!
  4. Make a new goal list. I look at where I am in life, the accomplishments I’ve made, and where I’m going next. At the beginning of each year instead of resolutions I keep a running list of goals I have for myself. I have one list for what I want to accomplish this year and another with life goals. I find that getting the goals down on paper helps me commit to them and makes them more concrete. This list constantly gives me something to strive towards and I evaluate it several times throughout the year to see if all my goals are still relevant or if I need to add and subtract any.
  5. Get outside! I’ve noticed when I’m worrying and experiencing anxiety getting outside is one of the best ways to for me to de-compress! I usually zone out to some good music or a podcast while walking around the lake or sitting by the water and let the worry disappear. I often use this time to meditate as well. I will think about my life and focus on the positives to come.
  6. Exercise even if you don’t feel like it. We’ve all been there. We have good intentions of going to an exercise class or for a run, complete our Tone it Up or BBG workouts and for whatever reason we don’t follow through. This is the most important time to follow through! Not only will you feel better, you definitely won’t regret working out and you’ll probably gain some mental clarity.

Here’s to living life and embracing change!

Xo,

Kaleigh