GET OUT OF YOUR OWN DAMN WAY

This is what I’ve been telling myself lately. The little version of me inside that wants to stay small and comfortable. The little version of me that’s afraid to step out, to raise her rates, and own her power.

So, you know what I did?

I got out of my fucking way!

I ignored that voice inside that said “who will buy your stuff at that rate?”

I ignored the resistance I felt around working on my website and updating it with my new rates and packages.

I ignored ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that said “YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF WHAT YOU WANT”

I AM WORTHY

I felt the fear, the resistance and did it anyway!

We’re all out here free to do whatever we want and yet most of keep ourselves in cages! Cages behind our limiting beliefs, behind destructive patterns, behind negative self talk.

Let yourself free! Get out there and make shit happen!

If you want something bad enough you have to put on your blinders and get out there, you have to ignore everything that says you can’t have it and you have to be your biggest supporter and belief system!

And if you’re spinning your wheels, get some support!

The thing that has propelled my success the most has been investing in myself. Investing in myself when I didn’t see how I could make it happen, where the money would come from, choosing to pay for my personal development over bills at times because I know am my greatest investment and I know I am creating my own reality.

So, I will say it again, GET OUT OF YOUR OWN DAMN WAY!

I’m booking new clients for February so get in touch if you’re ready to change your life!

 

You Deserve to Be EXTRA

Through most of my life I was the quiet, shy girl. The girl who would sit in meetings and not speak up, the girl who would have something to say or to offer and wouldn’t chime in.

Little did people know I wanted so badly to give my input, but I always held myself back!

I would get this anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach and my body would be screaming at me to say what I had to say and for so long I didn’t!

I constantly argued with myself whether I should voice my truth or my opinions and in the end each time I would decide it just wasn’t worth it.

I never did feel like I could be big and bold because I thought who will care anyway? Why will anyone care what I have to say?

I didn’t ever want to make anyone uncomfortable, forget the fact that I was uncomfortable, but making someone else uncomfortable was out of the question. It made me nervous, like sweaty nervous and anxious.

So for many many years I didn’t voice my truth. I stayed quiet. But silently inside I was DYING to say and express what I wanted.

And over the years as I’ve started sharing more of myself it feels damn good!

I feel proud of the woman I am. I have accomplished a lot in my life despite the odds being stacked against me and I decided that I would thrive!

Lately I’ve been playing around with the term ‘extra’ and I think all these new buzzwords are funny, but this word resonates because I’ve so never been ‘extra,’ but I have been lately!

I’ve been saying what I want, working on what I want, letting my feelings and thoughts be known, I’ve been going extra with hair, nails, and makeup, and it’s been fun!

I’m so over holding myself back in fear of what others will think, so over not letting my light shine, so over not feeling confidence in my damn good abilities to be a therapist and coach, and just ready to fucking rise up!

This kind of confidence to share and show up fully 100% as you all starts within, girls!

Start showing who you are, start speaking up!

The time and the moment is now, there is no reason to step foot into 2018 lacking any confidence in yourself and your skills!

 

 

When being uncomfortable becomes more

Hello Lovely,

One of the big things I have noticed in the online world is the lack of talk around anxiety. There’s a big focus on looking fear in the face and moving forward despite the fear, getting into the uncomfortable and unknown, but what happens when there’s more to the story? What happens when you are riddled with anxiety and feel paralyzed?

For many of us who are entrepreneurs and always looking to up level in business we are faced with fear a lot. It’s scary to put yourself out there and commit to doing the work even when you don’t know the outcome. There are a lot of what ifs, there’s a lot of questioning if you’re good enough to do it, you’ll feel like a fraud, you’ll want to quit, you’ll be scared of what people will think, this is all a completely normal part of the journey!

But, what happens when you feel crippled by all the unknowns and anxiety takes over? How do you differentiate between the feeling of being scared and knowing when it’s a larger issue of anxiety? Anxiety is a totally normal part of life, but when it’s holding you back and interfering with every day activities, that’s when it becomes a problem.

Anxiety is defined as: “A mental health disorder characterized by feelings of worry, anxiety, or fear that are strong enough to interfere with one’s daily activities.” (WebMD)

So, for all my girls out there that experience anxiety, know that you are not alone. You may look at those successful business women around you and wonder why they are able to move through their fears and unease relatively easily, while you feel paralyzed and stuck.

You may feel down on yourself and feel like a failure because you can’t seem to do what everyone else is doing. Just know, YOU ARE AMAZING! And you can get through this.

When I was younger I suffered from severe anxiety and I still get bouts of it from time to time, but I have been able to manage it much better over the last 7+ years.

I remember when I was in high school I never felt good enough. Academics weren’t a big focus in my family and I was never pushed to do my best in school, so I tended to slack off a lot. I would ditch class, skip assignments, and never give it 100%. Then when it came time to do projects and presentations I would get such severe anxiety that instead of doing the presentation I would completely skip it and get an F on the assignment.

As an adult, anxiety has held me back from putting myself out there with new people, from networking, from embracing myself, from getting work in on time, from being consistent with social media, from truly embracing my coaching business, and a host of other things.

The difference is that I can now recognize it and I don’t let it hold me back from situations that make me uncomfortable.

Here’s what has helped me and what may help you:

  • Recognize that fear based thinking is just that. Those thoughts you have about the worst possible outcome are lies and you have the power to decide whether you take them as fact or not. We have the power to tell our own story.
  • Decide to take your power back from your anxiety. Come up with an empowering affirmation or mantra that you use every day.
  • Do something that makes you uncomfortable. Once you start putting yourself out there more and you realize you can overcome uncomfortable situations you will be able to handle it better the next time. So, if you’re nervous about going live on FB try doing it once for just a few min and work up from there. The first time I went live it literally took me like 10 min to press the start button! I was so nervous! I let anxiety hold me back for so long from taking action.
  • Work on your personal development. For me, one of the biggest changes in my anxiety came from doing personal development. The more I worked on my self-worth and self-esteem the better I felt about putting myself out there.
  • Cultivate your confidence! What I mean by this is do activities and exercises that create inner confidence. For me this has been reading personal development, exercising, and taking ownership of the amazing person I am! And do things that make you feel confident on the outside too! I love to get my nails done, do my hair and makeup, wear a cute outfit, make my space look nice, etc. Anything that raises your vibe and makes you feel good! When we feel good we do good and we put ourselves out there more because we know we’re worth it!
  • Know that your anxiety is just there to keep you safe. The brain cannot distinguish a real threat (a tiger trying to attack you) from a perceived threat (people thinking bad things about you) so your brain treats it all the same. If you know that you’re not in real danger then you can lovingly thank yourself for trying to keep you safe and keep moving forward.
  • Exercise! Exercising helps so much with anxiety. Not only do you get a rush of feel good endorphins, but a workout helps you to physically exert pent up energy and pushes you to your limits physically and mentally. Exercise also brings mental clarity and that is a damn good thing!

The most important thing is to find what works for you. Try some of the tips I have listed, seek advice from a counselor, therapist, or coach, and just know that you are not alone!

Please reach out if you’d like more advice or help. hello@kaleighpettis.com

xoxo,

Kaleigh

Daily Rituals that Keep me Sane!

4 Daily Rituals Graphic

Most days I feel like I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off, but I do have a few rituals I like to practice each day to keep me centered so I don’t get super stressed and worn out. When I take care of myself and interject me time in my day I notice I’m calmer, less reactive, and happier. The days when I don’t do my rituals I feel frazzled, disconnected from the universe, and can be a real b*tch if I’m being honest! Nobody wants to be around a crazy frazzled person.

Here are the things I do every day. I try to do everything, but life happens so sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t.

  1. A couple mornings a week I get up before everyone else and have some me time. This includes working out and maybe some meditation or journaling if I can fit it in. I’d love to do this every day, but most of the time sleep wins! I’m ok with that though because I’ve learned to listen to my body and know that if I’m super groggy and tired I’ll be better off getting the extra couple hours of sleep.
  2. If I don’t exercise in the morning I fit it in later in the day. I don’t have any sort of routine and will listen to what my body wants. Typically I go for a walk or run around the lake, complete a BBG (Bikini Body Guides) workout, or go to the gym for some cardio.
  3. Meditate. I meditate a few times a week to quiet and calm my mind. It helps me pause and take a break from all the information I’m taking in throughout the day. I don’t follow any particular meditations, I typically do whatever feels good that day. In the morning I always try to do a visualization meditation where I focus on what I want my life to look like in a year. It really helps me get clear on what I’m working towards. Other times I’ll simply repeat a mantra or affirmation.
  4. I journal every day about whatever is coming up in the moment. Sometimes I have a lot to say and sometimes it’s a few sentences. Writing has always helped me process situations and things going on in my life and has given me insight into feelings I didn’t even know I was having. A few times a week I also write a list of what I’m grateful for and a list of my desires. I would like to do this every day, but life happens and I’m ok with a few times a week.

So, what are the rituals do you have in place for yourself each day? It’s easy to take care of everyone around you without stopping to think about yourself, but it’s sooooo necessary to come up with a few self-love practices every day so you can be at your best. I’ve even found that it’s hard for some women to come up with things they enjoy doing so if that’s you that’s ok too! Start by noticing the things you like during the day and don’t be afraid to try something new either.

5 Simple Steps to Starting a Business When you Have a Baby and Little to No Sleep

 5 simple steps

When I started my business last year I had a 6 month old and I was TIRED!

You know how it is when you have a baby, no time for yourself, not getting much sleep, you’re still trying to figure out who you are again, plus figuring out how to be a parent, there’s a lot of crap going on!

Not the ideal situation to build a business right?! But, I did it and so can you!

Here’s how I kept it together, managed to build a solid business, keep my sanity, and rock it as a mom!

These steps are all super easy to work through each day over 20-30 min. Nap time worked perfect for me. I find that journaling is a great tool to get started.

  1. I took time for myself EVERY DAY

You have got to do this for yourself and for your family. I don’t care what you do, but you need to have some alone time to collect your thoughts, reenergize, and feel refreshed. You will be better for it, I promise. The better you feel, the better you will be for your family. Plus, you are setting a good example for your kids and showing them that it’s important to take care of your needs and take time for yourself. Not only is this good for your family, but you also need to be in the right frame of mind for your business.

2. Know your ideal client like the back of your hand

You absolutely need to know your client like they are your best friend. Are they male or female? Age? Married? Single? Where do they hang out? What do they do for work? Where do they shop? What do they struggle with? Make sure you know it all!

3. WHY do you do what you do?

What makes you want to work with the people you work with? Why do you get excited to work with them? How do you help them? What makes you unique? Authenticity is way more important than being perfect. People want to see the true you and your passion for the work you do. When you lead with your why you will find the people that believe in you and your message.

4. Boundaries

I decided from the beginning how many days I wanted to work and how many hours I wanted to work and I stuck to that. What does your ideal schedule look like? It can be tempting to work with clients outside of your set schedule to make extra money, but if you stick to your boundaries you will find that people will work within your schedule if they want to work with you. Don’t worry about losing clients or worrying about people not wanting to work with you. Know your worth and if you know your worth other people will too.

5. Money

Now that you’ve figured out your ideal client and schedule how much money do you need to make each month to live your lifestyle? What does that look like for you? How much will you charge an hour? Can you create packages for your work or a course to leverage your time? Take all these things into consideration. And also don’t be afraid to dream! Would you like to make extra money each month to contribute to savings? Maybe you want to earn more money so you can go shopping! What is your budget for your car, food, etc? Write it all out and have a budget budget and then write out a budget that you’re working toward! Maybe it includes a housekeeper, money for expensive food from Whole Foods, extra money for a vacation.

Once you complete all these tasks you’re well on your way to creating a biz you love! Success won’t happen over night, but if you consistently put time and effort into growing your empire you will succeed. It’s only a matter of time!

 

Dream BIG Beautiful!

Sparkler

When you think about the woman you want to become does it scare you a bit? Like your dreams are a bit too big to achieve? I, too, felt like this before I got over my BS!

When I was younger I had BIG dreams, dreams of travel, adventure, success. I held myself back from going after these dreams for a long time because I didn’t feel like I deserved them or would ever accomplish them and that is RIDICULOUS! You should never shy away from your dreams because you don’t feel good enough!

Let’s get very clear on why you may be having these thoughts and what you can do about it!

FEAR– FEAR simply means FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL. You are SCARED you will fail, you constantly fill your head with WHAT IFS? You think you’re not SMART enough, you think other people are already doing it and WHY would anybody listen to you, you wonder what other people will think, etc, etc.. We could come up with 100 things if we wanted. Let’s instead focus on WHY it will work out, there’s only one YOU and even though there are a million people in the world all doing the same things, only you bring a unique quality and spin to your brand because you are you. So, let your SOUL shine through!

Here’s an exercise that can help you take a look at some of your fears, write out your fears on one side of the paper and for each fear write out a positive outcome that could happen instead.

Self- Limiting Beliefs– We often put caps on our dreams and most of the time it’s out of fear, fear of failure and fear of success. So because we are fearful we BELIEVE things that aren’t true. “I can’t start a business, there are so many other people doing the same thing I’m bound to fail,” “I could never be that fit,” “I could never inspire anyone else” and we keep telling ourselves these things to stay comfortable and not have to experience the uncomfortability of being in a new situation and putting yourself out there.

Exercise time! Write down some of your self-limiting beliefs and what they are holding you back from accomplishing then write down and affirmation you could tell yourself instead.

Ex. I could never life the life I want. Affirmation: I am in control of my destiny and can live any life I choose!

Negative Self-talk– After the fear and self-limiting beliefs cripple us we then start telling ourselves all the reason things won’t work for us. “That’s not for me,” “I would never succeed so I won’t even try.” It’s all such CRAP! Get out of your own head and start believing YOU are beautiful, awesome, smart, and can achieve ANYTHING you put your mind to! I believe in you and want to see you live a life you are wildly obsessed about!

 

Keep Shining,

Kaleigh

Get out of your own way!

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Growing up I was a very average kid, well… lets be real, below average. I grew up in a divorced home and really had no guidance when it came to school and pushing myself academically. At one point in high school I had a GPA of 1.35, I STRUGGLED! And I didn’t care because I didn’t think I would amount to anything. I didn’t have any cheerleaders in my corner telling me I could be anything I wanted to be or that I needed to go to college, but somehow I knew I was destined for greater things and slowly I have been checking dreams off my  list of life goals.

For many years I carried around stories that I wasn’t good enough, that nothing I ever accomplished in my life would make me successful, that I would never fulfill my dreams because they were too BIG, that the lifestyle I wanted to achieve was out of my reach. BUT, you know what?? I wised up and took charge of my life. I stopped playing the victim and instead started doing personal development and getting very curious about my beliefs and what was holding me back and you can too. I took CHARGE of my life and what I wanted. And you know what happened when I did that? My dreams and goals started falling into place.

Travel to Europe- Check

Move to Seattle- Check

Start a business- Check

Write a book!- In the process

Whatever you put out into the universe you will get back. If you’re constantly putting out negative energy and telling yourself you won’t accomplish x,y,z well guess what? You won’t! But, if you start telling yourself you are enough, you are worth it, and get clear on your goals you will accomplish anything you set your mind to.

So what are you waiting for??! Are you going to get out there today and make something happen or are you going to keep letting life happen to you?

5 Tips for Personal Growth

 

1. Get out of your comfort zone

Change and growth happen outside our comfort zone and we shouldn’t let fear of the unknown hold us back in life. Make a list of all the things you want to accomplish in life and start checking them off! When I made the decision to move to Seattle from Southern California I was so scared! I had always wanted to move and decided to go with it when the opportunity presented itself, but there was a lot of fear based thinking I had to overcome. You know the Nike saying ‘Just Do It’? Apply that to your life! When we start putting too much thought into the things that scare us, it’s really easy to talk yourself out of it.

2. Stop saying “ I can’t”

Along with getting outside of your comfort zone eliminate the phrase “I can’t” from your vocabulary. Why can’t you? What is holding you back? Really start focusing on what you can do and having an attitude of gratitude for the opportunities that come your way.

3. Break through self-limiting beliefs

Sometimes we don’t even realize the self-limiting beliefs we carry around and we all have them, but learning how to overcome these beliefs can really open you up to a life of opportunity and living up to your full potential. Do you want to start a business, but think to yourself you’ll never be able to do that? Do you want to get a rockin’ body, but tell yourself that will never be me? What I can tell you is what you think is what will be. Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right. Really start paying attention to these thoughts you have and start turning them into positives and I can’s.

4. Be positive

So that brings me to step 4 which is to be POSITIVE! When we live a life of negativity it is hard to see the good around us, but when we’re positive and grateful we tend to focus on all the good around us. I recommend starting a gratitude journal. This can be as simple as listing 3 things each day that you’re grateful for. Having this mindset each day will bring about more things to be grateful for!

5. Say YES

Lastly, say YES! We are presented with opportunities all the time and the more opportunities we say yes to, the more doors will open. Asked on a date, YES! Presented with a networking experience, YES! Lunch with a potential client, YES! Now, don’t get this confused with being a pushover and a people pleaser. This is about saying yes to opportunities that feel outside your comfort zone and maybe give you a little anxiety. These are opportunities for personal growth and that’s always a good thing.

Self-Compassion

As a woman, there is so much pressure to be “perfect.” To have perfect bodies, dress in the most fashionable clothes, be the best friend, best daughter, sister, wife, mom, partner, have a great job, a home that looks like it came from a Pinterest board, a cute car, and to never reveal to others any of our flaws or make any mistakes. We are in a society where we are constantly striving to do and be better than everyone else and vulnerability is perceived as weakness. Perfectionism leads to a lot of self-criticism and negative self-talk. Trying to do everything right is exhausting and not to mention impossible. What we need to strive for is self-compassion.

Self-compassion is about loving yourself for who you are without feeling the need to compete and be better than anyone else. It is about knowing yourself, flaws and all, and accepting your story. We’re all familiar with the term self-esteem which is linked to this idea of perfectionism, narcissism, self-absorption, and so on. But, self-compassion provides the same benefits of high self-esteem without all the negatives. I want to share with you the components of self-compassion.

Three components of self-compassion:

  1. Self- kindness v. self-judgment- Turn towards our self with love, kindness, and care like we would towards a best friend.
  2. Common humanity- Connecting to others with love and kindness. The idea that as humans, we are all in this together, we all suffer and we all struggle. We can’t love others more than we love ourselves. Every single person is deserving of compassion.
  3. Mindfulness- Being present, paying attention, being aware, non-judgmental. To take a balanced approach to negative emotions so that feelings are neither exaggerated nor suppressed.

To start practicing self-compassion pay attention to the messages you are telling yourself. We all have a running dialogue in our head that has an opinion about everything we are going through. Start listening to it. What does it say when you make a mistake? This is where you come in and give yourself the compassion you deserve.  Acknowledge that you are human and humans make mistakes. It is a ridiculous idea to think we would go through life without any hardship and sometimes we need to give ourselves the compassion to say we need help from others! If you are the type of person that doesn’t like talking to others about your problems, I would challenge you to open up to someone close and see how much better you feel afterwards.

I want to leave you with a quote. “Recognize your worth is great, your talents are worthy of expression, that your fulfillment is as important as anyone else’s and that your best self is the greatest gift you have to give the world.” I remember writing down this quote maybe 6 months ago and I just ran across the post it while cleaning out the desk in my office. I don’t remember where I got it from or who wrote it, but it’s a great reminder to love ourselves!

Here’s a link to a self-compassion test. I encourage you to take it and see how you score.

Self-Compassion Test

I hope you all have a great week!

Change: Getting Comfortable with The Uncomfortable

Can we stop for a moment and acknowledge how hard change is, really hard, right? Whether it’s personal, professional, within and without our control, it’s difficult. But what is it about change that makes it so difficult? For me, it’s a combination of things. It’s the unknown of what’s to come; it’s stepping out of my comfort zone and getting comfortable with the uncomfortable, it’s the fact that I now need to step out of my habitual state to form new habits and seek new experiences.

Lately, I’ve been going through a lot of change both personally and professionally and while it’s exciting at times, it’s also very scary! It’s one of those inevitable things we must go through, but ask most people and they will tell you they resist change because of the fear of the unknown! I can always tell I’m going through a transitional period when I start worrying, getting anxiety, pull away from my healthy lifestyle and exercise, and I turn inward. Knowing this about myself I’ve been able to develop ways to get through times of transition.

  1. Give yourself a couple days off from your normal schedule to process. Many of us have a to- do list a mile long running through our heads and sometimes you have to say “screw the list” and give yourself time to relax! Do something you love, have a treat meal, get a massage, take time for self-care. Self-care is so important to living a healthy and well balanced life.
  2. Meditate! I don’t set a specific time or limit myself to a single mantra, but I do sit in silence for the amount of time I feel I need and I think about life and what I want for myself. If I want to gain more clients I focus on ALREADY having the clients, the key is to focus on what you want as if you already have it. If I want my body to look great in a bikini then I focus on being in that bikini with my rockin’ bod! Eventually you will have what you want! Send out those positive vibes!
  3. Write in your journal. When I put pen to paper and write down my thoughts and feelings there are usually things that come up that I didn’t know were bothering me. I gain clarity on what I’m going through and I feel SO much better getting it all out!
  4. Make a new goal list. I look at where I am in life, the accomplishments I’ve made, and where I’m going next. At the beginning of each year instead of resolutions I keep a running list of goals I have for myself. I have one list for what I want to accomplish this year and another with life goals. I find that getting the goals down on paper helps me commit to them and makes them more concrete. This list constantly gives me something to strive towards and I evaluate it several times throughout the year to see if all my goals are still relevant or if I need to add and subtract any.
  5. Get outside! I’ve noticed when I’m worrying and experiencing anxiety getting outside is one of the best ways to for me to de-compress! I usually zone out to some good music or a podcast while walking around the lake or sitting by the water and let the worry disappear. I often use this time to meditate as well. I will think about my life and focus on the positives to come.
  6. Exercise even if you don’t feel like it. We’ve all been there. We have good intentions of going to an exercise class or for a run, complete our Tone it Up or BBG workouts and for whatever reason we don’t follow through. This is the most important time to follow through! Not only will you feel better, you definitely won’t regret working out and you’ll probably gain some mental clarity.

Here’s to living life and embracing change!

Xo,

Kaleigh